Why don't they make...?

I was looking for a tasteful photo of chocolate.
Then this one screamed "Use Me!"
photo credit: PA067570 via photopin (license)

So one thing I was pondering about lately--why does chocolate lube not taste like chocolate? And never mind how I know this.

Why chocolate, anyway? Or strawberry, raspberry, or any of the other best-selling flavors? Is sex like a sundae and we really need that cherry flavor to complete it? Or lime flavor, because the lime goes in the coconut (milk)? (Yes, I went there.)

To me, chocolate lube tastes more like plastic. Add in perspiration and other things and frankly, I think the fave flaves are a bit bizarre.

Why don't they make lube in popcorn flavor? Wouldn't that, um, blend better? Or coffee? That would be my favorite, for when hubby's ready first thing in the morning and I'm still prying my eyes open, much less anything else ;)

(I have to admit to being slightly afraid to post this essay. Somewhere deep down I think Roxy Mews and/or Jodi Redford will take this as a challenge and my inbox will be flooded with links to popcorn-flavored lube.)

What about you? what is your dream flavor?