Pec or chest? Bicep or Biceps? And just what the heck *is* a trapezius?

Capcom's Human Anatomical Reference for artists

Steamy romance isn't as easy to write as some folks think. You have to be part doctor, part wordsmith, part matchmaker--and still love to put your couple through hell before they get their heaven, lol. But the biggest challenge is making detailed body descriptions both easy to understand and sexy.

Here's an example.

Biting Nixie by Mary Hughes – Smoldering hot vampire alert

     In the center of the room, naked to the waist, was Julian Emerson.
     He stood like some latter-day Goliath, his fists raised over his head. Muscles bunched and strained in his arms and chest. Loose black trousers hung low on lean hips. He slid one bare foot out, legs bent. Crossed powerful wrists in front of him. Pivoted and punched both arms up in a fluid harmony of motion.
     My breath punched out as well, like I’d been hit by a truck. Julian’s body was beyond gorgeous. His abs were cut like diamonds, his chest was chiseled marble. He turned and his back…stars above. His back made me want to wrap my thighs around him and ride him like a horse.
     Twin wings of pure, hard muscle flared from his narrow waist to his immense shoulders. I could see individual muscles work as his fists spun out in a ballet of power. A thin sheen of sweat slicked his skin. I wanted to lick it off.
     He turned again and I was overwhelmed by color. Bronze skin, deep bronze nipples. Short black hairs feathered up the center of his abs and over his broad chest. Black glossy hair curled around his ears as his two-hundred-dollar haircut absorbed the sweat of his exertion. Laser-blue eyes, made even more startling by his black sweeping lashes, stared—
     Julian Emerson was staring straight at me.

So what I'm describing here is Julian (a lawyer) doing the second blackbelt form in Taekwondo (Keumgang (금강)) - second dan ("diamond", symbolizing hardness, unbreakable)).  Specifically his pectorals are chiseled marble and his latissimi dorsi (lats) are flaring, and certainly I could have named particular muscles as they contracted and released, but that wasn't the point of this passage. The point was to let the reader experience Nixie's stunned reaction to her first sight of Julian.

In Nixie and Julian's honeymoon story, Biting Christmas (free as part of Biting Holiday Honeymoons on Amazon, Nook, and others) Nixie does mention more specific muscles. She's mounting him in a hot tub.

I grabbed the tops of my husband's broad shoulders. He lifted them slightly, making his trapezius muscles two convenient handholds.

Since Nixie had identified the "tops" of her husband's shoulders, I was pretty confident the reader would know the trapezius was the neck-to-shouldertip muscle without being disrupted from the story.

The more erotic books gained traction in the marketplace, the more confident I was using anatomical terms. In Passion Bites, first published in 2015, Alexis was using pectorals by page 14. Then again, she's a doctor, so she'd know her body parts, lol.
Passion Bites by Mary Hughes – Steamy vampire kiss alert

     I stood, palms on his chest, and pressed flush to him.
     A thin layer of cotton shirt covered hot boulders beneath my palms. I’d touched well-built men, toned muscles and warm skin. I’d never felt a man like him, like scaling bare rock cliffs. A moan tore from my throat.
     His groan twined in. “You taste amazing. All hot and wet.” His head slanted, his tongue beginning to plunge. Angel wings became angel fire.
     I gasped. That driving tongue pistoned with intense male power. His heat rushed in, waking every bit of my mouth. Like biting a cinnamon red-hot, my lips, then my whole body flushed with desire, a flame spiraling through me like a coiled, lit fuse.
     Luke might look like an angel, but his kiss was hotter than sin.
     Hunger rushed through me, dark and powerful. Suddenly I was the most excited I’d been in my life. Ready to hop up on the exam table, pull out the stirrups and play doctor. My fingers curled, digging into iron-hard pectorals, and I swirled my hips against him.
     As if my hip bump was a cue, something unlocked in him. Strong arms wrapped me, pulling me into an inferno of lust. He wasn’t playing anymore. He kissed me in a flurry of lips and teeth and tongue, driving me mad with desire. I pressed into his hard body. He embraced me so tightly, we melded.
     Against my belly, a hard length grew enticingly.
     I was two seconds from suggesting we put the exam table to good use when the door clicked open.

Kotaku.com

The important thing is for the author to know exactly what body part she's picturing, then express it in such a way as to  make it clear without breaking the reader from the story.

So I was pretty chuffed when I found out comic book and video game designers are just as exacting with their art. Check out these amazing drawings from Capcom for warriors.

The reason this whole thing came up is a book up for preorder now.  Bad-Boy Billionaire's Lady is part of Billionaire Ever After, 22 all-new Billionaires ripe for love.

Landon "Rebel" Lovless has a ragged scar on one round, powerful biceps. My darling husband pointed out that's confusing, as it sounds like two muscles. That's the correct term, though, it's a single muscle with two heads. I left it in. Was the right or wrong call? Let me know in the comments below!

Billionaire Ever After. Passionate men who always get what they want, satisfying the desires of the women they crave. -or- Desire from sweet to sensual.

Quench your book-boyfriend addiction with these billionaires from bad boys, Marines, and CEOs to cowboys and more.

These page-turning stories are ALL-NEW, EXCLUSIVE TITLES—unavailable separately in ebook format anywhere else!

Kindle | iTunes | Kobo | Kindle UK

Overflowing with decadent luxury, heart-warming love, heated adventure, steamy romance, and happily-ever-afters, this contemporary romance collection is crafted by today's hottest New York Times, USA Today, and International bestselling authors and more.

This LIMITED-TIME collection is PACKED with novels and novellas that will provide over one hundred hours of reading. Get your copy today before these hot billionaires fly off into the sunset!

Kindle | iTunes | Kobo | Kindle UK

A gift for you! $50 egift card grand prize

photo credit: Thanksgiving via photopin (license)

If you're like me, this is an insanely busy season. Those hams and turkeys don't baste themselves. The gifts don't magically wrap each other, and it is a sad truth that the Decorator Elves exist only in fairy tales.

You do all that. You work hard during the holidays, making November and December a romantic, magical, fun, and warm family time.

But who makes the holidays sparkle and sizzle for you?

We'd like to help. A dozen authors are banding together to host a bash with 12 Days of 99c Ebooks--with a grand prize $50 Amazon/BN egift cerificate! December 1-12. Treat yourself right this holiday season.

Making the holidays romantic and sexy are New York Times bestselling author Jayne Rylon, New York Times bestselling author Izzy Szyn, bestselling author Jodi Redford, and the awesome Roxy Mews.

Making the holidays magical are international bestselling author Michelle Diener, and the wonderful Elle J Rossi and S.C. Mitchell.

Making the holidays fun are bestselling author Zoe Dawson, me, and the always-hilarious SL Carpenter.

Making the holidays heartwarming are USA Today bestselling author Edie Ramer, USA Today bestselling author Dale Mayer, and Amazon bestselling author Leigh Morgan.

Hope you'll join us for your gift of a little extra warmth this holidays!

a Rafflecopter giveaway
 

Starting tomorrow, Beauty Bites is only 99c! for a limited time. Ebooks make great lightweight stocking stuffers, just sayin' ;)

Beauty Bites (Biting Love Book 6)

Beauty is skin deep…but the beast goes all the way.

Kindle | Nook | Samhain | Kobo | iBooks | Google Play | All Romance | UK Kindle | UK Nook

When top Minneapolis ad man Ric Holiday is asked to design a campaign for a quaint little town, his first reaction is absolutely not. Meiers Corners is too near Chicago, home of the vampire who turned him as an orphaned boy.

Then the city sends an angel-faced med student with a body made for sin to plead their case. Synnove Byornsson is the ray of sunshine Ric hasn’t felt since he was human.

Armed with determination and a micro miniskirt, Synnove is prepared to crash Holiday’s penthouse cocktail party—and to dislike him on sight. But Mr. All-Style-No-Substance turns out to have a deadly smile, a barely restrained, feral strength, and piercing blue eyes that look at her—not at her cleavage.

Unfortunately Synnove has competition in the form of a sly temptress with a counterproposal. For the first time in her life, Synnove must cash in her genetic lottery ticket and fire back with some sizzle of her own—or her beloved Meiers Corners could become the new Sin City.

Warning: Contains a doctor with a bod for sin, an ad exec with a chip on his shoulder, sarcasm, sex, and a cabin full of annoying friends. Secrets are revealed. One heart-stopping, horrific moment leads to the ultimate of happily-ever-afters.
**Guilty Pleasures A True Gem; Blackraven's Reviews Recommended Read, Harlie's Book Reviews Recommended Read; RT Reviews 4-Star review

Kindle | Nook | Samhain | Kobo | iBooks | Google Play | All Romance | UK Kindle | UK Nook

One Month to Passion Bites--and Big Huge GARGANTUAN 99c sales bash

Do you like SEX? Do you like ROMANTIC TENSION and BANTER?

Do you like 99c SALES? *

Next month Passion Bites releases. Biting Love Book 9 is the one readers have been waiting for, where Logan Steel's twin brother Luke meets his mate in Dr. Alexis Byornsson, sister to Synnove. It's a journey of physical passion, sure, but more an emotional journey of epic proportions. Luke lost his wife 300 years ago and is one broken guy.

Oh, there's humor too. Wouldn't be Biting Love without it ;)

*To celebrate the release of Luke & Alexis's story, Samhain is offering her sister's story, Beauty Bites, for 99 cents. LIMITED TIME ONLY, December 1-11. And some of my author friends are helping me celebrate with a 12 Days of Sales reader extravaganza! 12 days of 99c books PLUS huge 60-book Thanksgiving giveaway!! I'm so excited I'm tossing in extra exclamation points!!!! Details as I get them here.

Passion Bites
A broken vampire and a driven doctor, seized by a passion neither can afford.

Dr. Alexis Byornsson has her hands full in the ER when her patient’s uncle blows into the exam room. Stitching up a five-year-old’s cut is hard enough without a blond god distracting her all to hell.

To say she’s furious is putting it mildly—not that anyone would notice. Not with the legendary control that’s earned her the nickname “Dr. Frozen”.

Luke Steel never knew a woman chastising him could be so sexy. But for the first time in three hundred years, passion stirs in his gut—along with panic. Since his wife was taken before his eyes in a brutal attack, he’s sworn he’d never feel that powerless again.

Almost before either Luke or Alexis realize what’s happening, they’re sharing a blazing kiss that shatters her logical armor and unleashes his wholly unwanted mating instinct. And spurs a closer-than-skin enemy to put into motion a devastating plan for revenge.

Warning: This book contains a hot doctor and a hotter vampire messing up sterile surfaces. The usual rogue shenanigans, but this time covering deeper motives. Hang on to your stethoscopes at what’s revealed!

Preorder now!
Kindle | Nook | Samhain | Kobo | iBooks | Google Play | All Romance | UK Amazon | UK Nook

Sex: The Moving Parts of Love

I'm always surprised by the romance writers who get bored writing sex/love scenes. "There's only so many ways Tab A goes in Slot B", they complain.

Really??

Okay, the whole issue of how many tabs and slots there ACTUALLY are aside, what about character? Isn't that what writing, ultimately, is all about?

What moves a love scene? Well, for move, it isn't tab anything or slot anything else. It's how the hero or heroine's inner self is revealed by how they move the moving parts.

Here's a first-kiss tidbit from three of my Biting Love romances. Are they all the same? You tell me.

Bo & Elena:

I licked my lips. His gaze dropped precipitously to follow, his pupils dilating big as dimes. He yanked me in. Hot lips descended.

Bo kissed me.

His mouth, warm and firm, pressed against mine. Circled masterfully. A tongue licked the seam of my lips with bold expertise.

My trembling increased. My hands fell onto his cotton-covered chest. It was like palming velvet-covered boulders. My lips parted slightly in amazement.
 

His tongue flicked at the opening. Little sparklers lit where he licked, small crackles of sensation, tiny zaps that made my lips swell and throb. He kissed me, silky soft, licking little shivers at the corners and edges of my mouth until I wanted to scream.

Nixie & Julian:

“Nixie.” Julian’s voice. But not his usual cultured drawl. No, this voice was tight and strained. The kind of voice you got when all your blood drained from your vocal cords to your baseball-bat-sized cock. Ooh, he really did carry foot-long things in his clothes. I rubbed my hips against Mr. Big Gavel. That drew more blood down. “Nixie,” he said again, even more strained. I found I liked Julian’s voice all stiff and growly.

“Stop that. I’m trying to untie your hood.”

Damn. Aroused, but in control of himself. How disappointing.

In my dark cave, I blinked. Disappointing? No way. I was not disappointed that Julian Emerson, stodgy old hoag, was not interested in me. Well, feeling his big nightstick flex, maybe he was interested. But not enough to be out of control about it. And that was a good thing, right?

Except I was burning up. That thick rod pulsing against my crotch, the smell of fighting male, the feel of his hard body under me…I was wet enough to grease a Cadillac.

So when my hoodie came loose, I took one look at his beautiful, dark-bronze mouth and kissed him good.

He tasted like war. Like fast rides with a powerful motorcycle between my thighs. Like getting drunk on expensive champagne. I ran my tongue over his lips and drank.

Julian’s hands, in the process of putting me down, stopped. Came back around me. Crushed me to him.

His mouth opened against mine. With a raw groan, he kissed me back.

Sunny & Aiden:

“Who’s the cop here?” I scowled up.

He scowled down. “Who’s the midget here?”

“Why you…” I grabbed his ears to bring his head to my level and stun him speechless with my cop glare, a cross between Medusa and an ocular fist that I’d seen Elena do and practiced daily in the mirror until I knocked myself out with it.

But somehow when his face got within reach of my mouth I leaned up and he leaned down—and we fused lips. My tongue pried and he opened, and I was plunging as deep as I could get into hot male heaven. He tasted of espresso edged with cinnamon and danger; his scent enveloping me was just as spicy.

He groaned. His arms came around me, pulling me flush to him. I clutched his biceps, warm satin-covered rocks, and moaned into his mouth. As if it was a cue he crushed me to him, his embrace hot as a woodburner and his torso as hard as his biceps. Even through the thick wool of my cop carapace I felt every ridge of him.

I twined arms around his neck and pressed into him in return. I was shivery hot and melding with him instinctively, writhing and rubbing against him with primal need.

My undulating must have been another signal, because he began to take the lead. His tongue thrust powerfully into my mouth. I groaned and a ripple of sheer need ran the length of my body. I opened wider for him; his tongue filled me again and again.
 

That driving power was how he’d make love. At the thought, my sex drenched.

So if there's this much variation in a kiss, how much more imaginative can two people in love get?

Who's your favorite fictional couple? Any favorite love scenes? (I remember a Johanna Lindsey scene on a horse...)

Fun with Werewolves and Vampires--PLUS LAST DAY on pbk GIVEAWAY

Ever have one of those days months years? This morning in the shower I mentioned to my husband February felt like 3 years, and not the good, relaxing-on-the-beach kind. How long did February last for you?

So here, for all of us, are a couple fun-and-or-hot excerpts from my two newest releases, Masked Attraction, and Downbeat paperback!

And be sure to get in on the last day of my Downbeat giveaway. Three copies in paperback up for grabs!

https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/126039

Masked Attraction
Pull of the Moon prequel.





Part of Entranced: A Halloween Box Set
 
The masks are coming off.

Daniel Light loved Zoe Blackwood when he was a gangly dork. Now a powerful wizard prince, a masked ball gives Daniel a new chance to woo her. Coming between them is an ancient parchment with a deadly prophecy.

Warning: A wolf shifter on the cusp of mate-or-else, a smokin' hot wizard who won't let anything stand in his way, and fun in closets.

From Masked Attraction

“Let’s you and me get to know each other, Lady Mystery.” 

She gritted her teeth and told herself she was overreacting. Flirt. Enjoy. “Sure.”

Zeus put an arm around her shoulders. His fingers traipsed along her collarbone until they took a walk on the wild side of her sternum, spelunking down her cleavage.

Enough was enough. She cleared her throat to make some classy excuse to beat his head into the wall.

Before she could, a buzz at the door distracted her. She glanced up as the crowd parted.

A blond man glided in like a panther, stopped, and stood there, as tall and confident as if he owned the place. He was built like a true Greek god, inverted triangle torso on long, strong legs. His golden hair shone lustrous in the electric light. His strong features accented by a rakish black mask drew the eye of every female in the room.

Zoe peeled off Zeus’ arm and moved from him as if he’d never existed.

The blond man’s gaze swung to her—and stopped.

The instant connection sang in her ears, in her blood, so powerful and shocking it kicked the air out of her lungs.

The man started toward her, cutting through the crowd like a sleek ship.

Her breath returned in quick, excited puffs.

His scent hit her as he neared, catapulting her back in time to cheerleading sweaters and smoking blunts in the woods…and the burnt scent of an almost-failed chemistry class.

“Damn my paws,” she muttered.

Daniel Light.

Downbeat (Biting Love Book 7)

  

Kobo,  ARe, iTunes, AmazonUK, AmazonAU
Samhain Print

Striking the right note could shatter more than their hearts.
 

After an attack that slaughtered his family, vampire Dragan Zajicek walled off his heart and went on a sixteen-hundred-year rampage with the bad boys of history.

Now a rock star of the concert podium and master freelance spy, he’s taken the baton for a small orchestra near Chicago to investigate rumors of a monstrous, undefeatable vampire dubbed the Soul Stealer.

But it’s the lovely, unassuming Raquel “Rocky” Hrbek who mesmerizes him from the first touch of her luscious lips on her flute.

Rocky, a shy shadow scarred by middle school cruelty, is mystified as to why core-meltingly gorgeous Dragan would notice a mouse like her. As his stolen kisses draw her dangerously close to the edge of her carefully constructed comfort zone, he exposes her secret—she’s investigating the monster herself.

As their quest draws them closer together, the monster zeroes in on the woman Dragan’s rebellious heart tells him is his mate. Now they must find a way to destroy the indestructible before Rocky is utterly consumed. And Chicago is bathed in the blood of innocents.

 
Warning: Contains a master of seduction and symphonies, an awkward and innocent flutist, small-town humor, heart-stopping action, and an exodus to Iowa. Oh, and the cheese balls are ba-a-ack—and deadlier than ever.



Second kiss.

I tried to see it from his point of view. The man wanted help getting around. A few directions, not my soul. Simple neighborliness would do. I breathed deep, and managed to rasp out, “Sure. No problem, Mr. Zajicek.”

He smiled and slipped his arm around mine. “Dragan, please.” His hip bumped against my side as we walked.

My respiration rate shot through the roof. I gritted my teeth. Simple neighborliness, yeah, right. Like your basic neighborhood raging inferno. “Okay. First names. I’m Rocky.”

“Rocky? That’s a boy’s name.”

“It’s a nickname,” I admitted.

“Ah. And your real name?”

Yes. My “real” name.

My friend, Nixie Emerson, once told me names have power. In her case, she went by her kicky middle name instead of “Dietlinde”, her dull-as-dust first. For her, that was appropriate. Nixie was short and punk and smart as a whip—and as smart-mouthed too, though she reined it in around her new baby.

In my case though, my “real” name was not appropriate. Anti-appropriate, in fact. My mom named me Raquel, after Raquel Welch, the sex-goddess of the sixties. So while Nixie’s name was right and good, mine was a joke. And considering my nega-love-life, a rather nasty one at that. “Rocky’s good enough, Mr. Zajicek.”

“Dragan,” he murmured, somehow pulling me closer. The heat of his body licked flame-like up my side. I hissed and shifted my flute bag between us, but as a defense it backfired. Zajicek simply plucked the bag from my hands. “Shall I carry that?”

“You don’t have to. No, wait—”

“Nonsense. It is quite light.” He shifted my bag onto his own shoulder, not the one between us. The strap wrapped itself over his muscles like a second skin, and I swear it moaned happily.

Then Zajicek curled one hand around my waist and pulled me so close I could barely breathe. I tried to, really I did. But every tentative inhale brought the scent of him, cotton and sandalwood and burning masculinity. Every movement of my ribcage scraped the side of my breast against his arm, until I was trembling with the need to rub blatantly against him. Every breath drew cool air over my tongue…yikes, I was lolling like a dog in heat.

My glasses fogged up, and I stumbled again.

Both Zajicek’s arms went around me. I felt incredibly clumsy and stupid, making him rescue me continually from my own feet. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Zajicek—”

“Dragan,” he murmured, cupping my chin and lifting my face for another soft kiss. His lips touched mine, his mouth moving in tiny circles as if to warm my skin. He didn’t need to. I was plenty warm already—and a little buzzy.

“You taste wonderful.” His mouth opened and his tongue teased the seam of my lips.

I jumped at the touch but Zajicek held me, so securely I relaxed into his arms. It seemed to be some sort of cue for him to lick me and slide his tongue between my lips, encouraging me to part them.

He asked so nicely, with tiny hot licks. So I did.

The instant my mouth opened he devoured me. His mouth slanted over mine and his jaw dropped. Heat rushed in. I gasped. Shocked and a little scared, I fell back, but he stepped with me, wrapped his arm around my back and trapped me good. He had to bend quite a ways to do it.

My back arched like a bow, my breasts crushed to his chest, my hips to his thighs. Something stirred against my belly, sending a jolt shearing through me. My mouth tingled and my breasts tingled and I was getting really tingly between my legs.

I slid my hands between us to try to wedge open some space. All I succeeded in doing was fitting my palms to the hardest pectorals in the world.

The tingling between my legs was starting to drive me insane.

Zajicek’s mouth left mine to trail licks and nibbles down my jaw to my throat. He nuzzled me there, an odd dark rumble coming from his chest, almost a lion’s purr. “You smell divine. Ah, to taste you fully.” His tongue rasped over my pulse.

Somewhere along the way his hand had found my breast and was kneading and cupping while he sucked gently on the tender skin of my neck until my head spun.

Then his fingers found my raised nipple and plucked.

A thousand Christmas lights went on in my head. I shrieked.

Dear Santa...

 photo credit: Theresa Thompson via photopin cc

Dear Santa,

How's Rudoph's cold? Get him the lotion tissues for that red nose...

Whether you've been naughty or nice this year, Santa's got a present for you!

Cherise Sinclair, Lorelei James, Shayla Black, Lexxie Couper and more share their "Dear Santa" letters--and tons of giveaways--at Guilty Pleasures Book Reviews.

I'm giving away a Holiday Pack with ebooks Biting Holiday Honeymoons, Entranced box set, and Black Diamond Jinn--that’s a dozen stories. Just 4 more days.

http://www.guiltypleasuresbookreviews.com/2014/12/dear-santa-mary-hughes.html


**All Dear Santa letters here** http://www.guiltypleasuresbookreviews.com/category/dear-santa

Those Pesky Clothes--Why I like Writing Vampires

photo credit: Chuckumentary via photopin cc

So I have the first book in a new series coming in 2015 (Heart Mates, April 28 and I can't wait to show you the cover!!) that features an ex-witch and an alpha wolf shifter. Writing it, I was really getting into it, great plot, lots of fun and lots of sex...until I came to the first time they tried to go sub-clothesa, as it were.

I had to keep track of each item of apparel, whether it was off, on, or askew. Had she removed his T-shirt? Had he? Jeans...briefs...SOCKS???

Coming November 11

Vampires are so much easier. A 100-year-old vampire in my Biting Love universe can just blow his body into mist--and the clothes drop through.

Vampires, at least the kind who can mist or magic clothes away, are the closest thing to a zipless encounter as you can get.

Which reminds me...check out my latest misting vampire. Aiden Blackthorne was turned in the early 1800s, kidnapped as a boy, and trained to be an assassin. Present day--the smooth assassin meets bumbling Sunny Ruffles, a cop who keeps trying to arrest him. Hilarity and hotness ensues.

Another great thing about vampires? Magic tongues.

For healing. Their saliva heals wounds. Geez, what did you think I meant? ;)

Assassins Bite available for preorder now

Assassins Bite (Biting Love, Book 8) 
Only her light can burn away his shadows. 

On her first night as a police officer, Sunny Ruffles takes down three felons…only to be attacked by a gang of vampires who are a whole new level of hurt. Then a mysterious shadow man intervenes, saving Sunny before he disappears. She runs after him, telling herself her pursuit has nothing to do with his sharp, stubbled jaw, his powerful shoulders, or his sexy-as-hell, kissable lips.

 Rescuing the humans makes Aiden Blackthorne late for a critical meeting with the vampire Nosferatu’s daughter. Yet clompy, bumbling Sunny draws him back like wild honey. He kisses her, and he’s almost got her down to her underwear when a bomb meant for him explodes.

The last thing Aiden wants is to drag Sunny into his hellish conflict with Nosferatu. But Aiden’s a loner whose only friend has mysteriously disappeared, and the woman who smells and tastes like his mate is the only backup he has left. He’ll need her, everything he is, everything he was—and everything he might have been—to defeat his evil master and claim the love he never dared hope to have.

Warning: This book contains shadowy assassins shooping off vampire heads, cops bumbling in at the worst of times, and opposites attracting, colliding, and exploding in lust—a.k.a., explicit fighting, humor, and sex.