Roxy's #CheapDate with Arbor Mist

Tonight’s cheap date is with Arbor Mist Moscato Mango Strawberry.

This wine has lots of names. Again…we have a twist off cap. I will say, this trip down cheap date lane has made my opening of wine bottles infinitely easier. Do all cheap wines have screw on caps? This could be a feature I could get behind.

The cap has a little peel off strip. Think pack of gum type situation. Grab the little tab and the wrapper comes off. Corked wines need to get behind this technology. Because I can’t tell you how many times I have stabbed myself trying to get the tin foil stuff off the top with a knife.

Yes. I know a knife is not a proper cutting tool. This is why I am reviewing CHEAP wines. (Classy fucking lady, right here. And yes. That is a partially completed wall behind me. New house woes.)

Let’s look at the label! Because wow. This one actually lists the nutrition facts. Are wines doing that now? I have never seen that before! And after looking at the sugar content on this…I never want to see it again. (19g of sugar per 8oz. YIKES!)

This also has “High Fructose Corn Syrup” listed as an ingredient behind the wine. Hold up. The first ingredient is “Moscato wine”. Then there’s a whole list of other things. Maybe that’s why this one is only 6% alcohol.

This is going to be weak.

Sniff time!

Whoa. This smells straight up like candy. I can’t tell what kind of candy. I make hubby smell it too. I can’t figure out where I’ve smelled this before but I have definitely smelled this smell.

Me: Doesn’t this smell like candy? I can’t figure out what kind, but it definitely smells like candy.

Hubby: Do you consider wine candy?

Me: Stop it. It smells like candy! What kind do you think it smells like? I can’t place it.

Hubby: I think you’re mistaking wine for candy. Do you need some chocolate?

I hit him. But now I want chocolate too. Better finish this up so I can sample some of the “Halloween” candy I’ve bought to be prepared.

I still can’t figure out what it smells like. It’s like hearing a song and being completely unable to place the name of it even though you can sing the whole damn verse.

Fruit rollups? Gummies? Maybe those peach rings I stacked on my fingers as a kid? NO! I think I’ve got it. Does anyone remember that scent that was all over the place in the 90’s? It was super sweet and we had it in lip balm, in markers, and even that scented slime? THAT’S THE SMELL!

Okay. I totally have to drink this, because I always wanted to eat those things but I was too chicken.

THE POUR

This wine has almost as many bubbles as a champagne but without the foam head. It’s damn near clear. Barely any color at all. It smells like the end of a fruity bath bomb in the glass. Still fruity but slightly off.

THE SIP

Whoa. To say this is sweet is an understatement. To say this is wine is an overstatement. This tastes like straight up sugar syrup. It’s even fairly thick. I can feel it in the back of my throat. I think my throat just got slimed.

This was not an easy drink. (Remembering the sugar content, that’s probably a good thing.)

Let’s put ice in it! I heard from a lot of people that I should have put ice in the last one. This sucker could use some dilution.

It foamed up like a soda when I put the ice in. Maybe that’s why I’m having a hard time with this one. I cut out full-sugar sodas a long time ago and they are all way too sweet for me now. Maybe if you drink soda on the regular this won’t taste so sweet to you.

But I gotta tell you, I’m damn near gagging.

With the ice it’s not as bad, but I don’t feel like I’m drinking wine. It tastes like flavored water with a lot of sugar in it. Like someone tried to stretch the Koolaid a little too far.

The flavor doesn’t match the scent. This one might be fun to put in a sherbet punch if you’re going for a dessert type thing. It just isn’t what I’m looking for when I pop the top on a bottle of wine.

I pass the glass to hubby. Who drinks full sugar soda and dislikes wine.

Me: Here. Try this. Does it taste like wine?

Hubby: No. It tastes pretty good.

Me: *Laughing* Of course you like it.

Hubby: It’s not bad at all.

Then hubby steals another drink and heads down the stairs.

THE VERDICT

I wouldn’t buy this again. But Hubby might.

One Thumbs Down, and a Non-Wine Drinker’s thumbs up. You make your own call on this one. But I’m going back to Riunite. 

So do you drink Arbor Mist? It was definitely not for me. What wine should I try next?

~Roxy

To find Roxy's books with buy links and what she has coming up next check out her website at RoxyRocksMe.com