Sexy Times With Garden Equipment

I frequently get asked what inspires me to write a love scene. It’d be easier to list what doesn’t inspire me to write hot sex. For those wondering, my high school algebra teacher and Steve Buscemi top that list. But let’s get back to what does go into creating those sexy times.

For me, it always starts with the characters. If I’ve done my job right, the sexual tension between the hero and heroine should be at the boiling point before the clothes start coming off. I want them to be panting with the desperate need to get  nekkid and busy between the sheets, on the kitchen table, the bathroom sink, the garden shed, the drive through at McDonalds (Would you like that orgasm supersized? Yeah, you know you do.)

So what might be some of the sexual stimuli responsible for getting my hero and heroine hot and bothered?  Sometimes it’s as simple as a touch. A teasing brush of his fingers across the heroine’s nape. Add to that maybe a certain look in his eyes. You know the one. That ‘Baby, if we weren’t standing in the lawn tractor aisle at Home Depot right now, I’d mow your turf six ways to Sunday’ sparkle in his eye. In case you didn’t know, the potent combination of lawn equipment, power tools and fertilizer fumes does lusty things to the male brain. Call it the perfect trifecta of horniness, if you will. But back to our hero and heroine. By now, she’s experiencing that delicious, shivery anticipation of more skin on skin contact with her hero. She starts imagining the glide of his fingers along more intriguing places than the nape of her neck. Maybe there are more tactile sensations involved as well. The rasp of his beard stubble across her breasts, her stomach…lower…

…lower…

Yeah, right there—

Attention shoppers, all hanging geranium baskets are currently half off! 

Don’t you hate it when the perky sales announcer interrupts just when things are getting good? This of course mimics what my characters frequently go through during their constant dance of seduction. Instead of dirt cheap geraniums, the culprit for nookie blocking might initially be the hero and heroine’s own stubbornness. Or maybe we’ll blame it on the pain-in-the-ass neighbor who always picks the worst time to borrow a cup of sugar.  Just you wait, pain-in-the-ass neighbor. That cup of sugar won’t mean diddly squat in chapter eight when the zombies get you.

But I digress. Back to our poor heroine. It’s safe to assume that her anticipation isn’t the only thing quivering at this point. Thanks to her lusty thoughts and the sexual cues coming from our hero, every nerve ending in her body is primed and ready. Each breath she drags in is saturated with the sultry promise of sex. She can already feel his strong, powerful body over her, inside her, and the wanton ache of needing him is both tormenting and oh so delicious.

There’s only one thought in her mind now.  You know the one. Goes something like this–Honey Buns, if we weren’t standing in the lawn tractor aisle at Home Depot right now, I’d rock your world better than a Toro 12 amp variable speed electric blower.  That’s right. With variable speed. Oooh mama.

Requisite shot of inappropriately placed leaf blower

Speaking of men who know their way around a woman's turf, my newest release, Double Dare, features two hot, sex-on-a-stick landscapers. (Nice segue there, huh?) I'm kinda impressed with myself right now. But I digress. If you haven't picked up your copy yet, you can snag it for the super dooper bargain steal price of 99 cents. And while you're at it, don't forget to grab the other Lusty Linguists contributions to the April Fools For Love collection. 
                                                                
Double Dare: April Fools For Love
When the Lights Go Out: April Fools For Love
Biting Serendipity: April Fools For Love (Biting Love Short Bites Book 4)
Fringe Benefits

                                                                          ***
From the moment Graham Barlow and Matt Spencer moved into the bungalow across from hers, Dani Tipton’s willpower has been strung to its limit. Ignoring the hot and heavy fantasies the two hunks inspire on a daily basis is more than any woman’s libido can take. Although temptation beckons, Dani’s determined to be a good role model for her wild, trouble-prone younger sister. Jumping in the sack with either of her sexier-than-sin neighbors sure as hell wouldn’t help her case. But when her sister sets up the ultimate April Fools’ prank, Dani suddenly winds up neck-deep in a compromising position. Literally.

For the last eighteen months, Graham and Matt have been carrying a major case of blue balls for Dani. No matter how hard they flirt or lay on the charm, she’s kept them strictly in the friend’s zone. So when they discover her buck naked in their swimming pool they figure they’re either hallucinating—or have been handed their one shot at rocking Dani’s panties off. Not too difficult to do, seeing how she’s not wearing any. Convincing her to indulge in a little frisky threesome skinny dipping? Easy enough. And the sexy interlude that follows is hot enough to boil the pool water. But when it comes to making their unconventional triad permanent, Matt and Graham issue Dani the biggest dare of all—entrusting them with her heart.

Warning: This M/F/M ménage brings new meaning to getting to know your neighbor. Lusty pool shenanigans and creative uses for hot tub jets. No bathing suit required, but bring an extra towel. Things are bound to get wet.